This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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