The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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