I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My bed smells like the plague
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