You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
