Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
