hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
