Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
