Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
