Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
