you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
