Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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