You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
