so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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