James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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