I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
