People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
