Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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