Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
