i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
