I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
