So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
