Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
