I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?