i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened