Three words: puerto rican gang bang
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
