whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing