At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
