It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
