WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize