Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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