Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
