my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
