Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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