If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
