so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
They took my balls.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
