this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
