I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
