one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
