Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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