I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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