She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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