covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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