You just made me feel so damn special
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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