But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
