So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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