Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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