I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
