Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
