She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My cat gives me a boner
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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