I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
