i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
