You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
