ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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