i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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