Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
