my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
that's an acceptable place to lick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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