Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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