Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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