so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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