READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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