She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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