I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
