either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We need to get me chipped asap
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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